Unemployed by Monster Attack
So my last job was destroyed by Sludge. No, I’m not talking about that black slime that backs up sinks and occasionally people. I’m referring to the 100 foot monstrosity with melting eyes and barely formed mouth that seems drawn to potential ecological disasters. You know the one, that muck mound that keeps moaning its own name, or “was once a man” or whatever it is. Yeah, that one. I know some of you know because it made the news again. The press couldn’t get enough of it when Frog-man and the Diving Bell managed to drive it to that waste dump near the river. I, on the other hand, have to deal with the fact that not only did I lose a job, which stung enough. Bridgeton is not the easiest place to find employment. But also that creeping crap mound destroyed my favorite travel mug I left there by accident. It was a nice one I managed to salvage from a garage sale in San Niebla with the old Questor’s logo on it. They have since discontinued that logo and that model of mug. At a curiosity, it’s not going for up to $75 on Ebay so that’s not coming back. I guess It’s fine. It’s just stuff after all, right? And it was not anything drastically important like my laptop where I end up doing most of my writing. That would have stung like hell to lose.
(edit: I’m being told that I am incorrect in my labeling and should be referring to the hero in question as the Fabulous Frog-man. There is apparently an in juncture to this fact stemming from a similar name owned by Marvel comics. Funny that live heroes have to contend with fiction for naming rights. This never seemed to bother anyone years ago. I went to college with a man born 1977 who’s parents had just seen a great movie that would change their life. After leaving the theater in elation and probably the first stages of labor, he was never that exact in the story, they gave birth to bouncing baby boy they named after one of the main characters and felt content to call him for years after. Good luck, Darth, wherever you are.)
But this really isn’t just frustration over a lost job. The job, from my point of view wasn’t the best and I can understand why Sludge attacked. PCB’s are nothing to laugh at. From what I have come to understand, Sludge attacks for the toxins and chemicals that fuel his body and cause problems on a global scale. So when the energy concern had their transformer taken in to be tested, it might have behooved them to not drill holes in the casings and draining the oil in open air, in a broken warehouse and machine shop they were in the process of “revitalizing.” For me, they put my desk 50 feet from several transformers, at least one was leaking in something like a large bucket or a little kiddie pool. All this while they were training me on a software they all hated and made mention of the port-o-potties as the only facilities that worked. With the number of those on hand, it probably did nothing to deter the monster.
I’m getting to snarky and negative again. I’m supposed to be positive in this. My wife really does appreciate it when I don’t imbibe too much in the negativity. So I look to my hands and the several rings I keep there. All will be well, I’m told. I believe that. I really believe that. I just have to remind myself that I believe it. If nothing else, thanks to Sludge and the heroic work of The Fabulous Frog-man and Diving Belle, I’m not in a job that might potentially poison me.
I wonder if the Unemployment Department will see it that way. How are you supposed to put that down on an application? “Reason you are no longer at your position: Attack by building sized toxic monster that ate the building.” I guess I’ll have to put “position no longer available.” That is true after all.
So tomorrow it’s back to the employment sites. Right now, I’m going to lean back and look at the art above my computer desk, my writing desk. When I can’t make a living doing what I want to do, I dive back into the workforce. And when the workforce tells me “thank you, you did a good job,” or “Excellent work, but the contract is over,” or “this isn’t a good fit,” or “The monster is attacking the city, run for your lives,” I return to the computer to see what my keyboard will spill out. Honestly, even when working, I keep a laptop around so I can write on my lunch break. If given a chance, I would be doing this for a living, stress of deadlines, working with strange characters and all. Though I know what kind of writing that might actually pay. I hear the Monitor is looking to hire reporters, not my cup of tea, and almost entirely in the Metas section. Now that Doctor Quantum announced a branch of the Quantum Academy and Tower, every news outlet in the city is scrambling to find people willing to follow metahumans around like ambulance chasers, get as much story around whatever battle is happening, and get home unscathed so they don’t have to pay them insurance money, for about 2 cents a word. Not sure I am that desperate. I think I’ll stick to fiction and writing my novels… and occasional fanfiction.
Right now, I have three stories to work on. My space opera continues with my wife, Karen, desperately asking for a certain scene to get finished. My role playing group always need plotting for that weeks adventure, in this particular case it’s seeing if the Star Wars game finishes and if a Scion game will start up. Lastly, Jenny keeps calling. I will have to work on her story soon enough. Thanks Jenny. As I write this, flip past requests for executive assistants, administrative personnel, and data entry jobs, all the while, besides the covers of my books looking back at me, I see my query letters for Dynamite and DC go unanswered. Maybe it’s best that I just apply for that job at the Ducklyn branch of The Caffeinater and the Creamery Kid. Maybe slinging coffee is something I can do while my novels pile up. It’s what most artists do while they wait to be discovered by a public that clamors for the next book and sends threatening messages when they don’t get it. Maybe one day…
I am shaken awake from my fantasy life by power flicker as Golden Triscale Industries attempts another innovation that will more than likely burn us down one day. I better put this post at an end. I have so much to talk about so it will have to wait until another time.
More soon, Everyone in Internet Land.